Consortium Hunter



Fandom: X-Files/Crocodile Hunter crossover. It's all Lady Midath's fault. Really it is.

Rating: G

Disclaimer: Steve Irwin is all of his own, his phrases are never scripted, just a natural progression of his character. He has to be one of the few TV stars that doesn't run to a script, and for that I admire him.

A/N: From a discussion about Dangerous Aussie Animals on AlexK-H-C-orD. And it's still Lady Midath's fault =P This may or may not be continued depending on whether I can maintain the 'voice' =)


*Enter, Stage Left, Dark haired, green eyed, black leather jacket over khaki shirt, shorts, and hiking boots, wearing a slightly manic grin*


"G'day, and welcome to Consortium Hunter! I'm Alex Irwin, and tonight, we're going to be huntin' down various critters that usually only show their beady little eyes around after dark! Bonza!"


*Sneaks up to a hedge, over which can be seen clouds of cigarette smoke and whispers in a loud voice*


"Now, we'll have to be quiet to catch this little beauty unawares, 'e's known to be right grumpy if disturbed, Danger! Danger!"


*The camera pans over the hedge to see CSM in a deck chair, puffing away*


"Isn't he gorgeous? He's known as the Spendiferous Nicotinious, and can snap your arm right off if you're not careful. Give 'im a hand, and he'll take both feet with 'im. Check this out!"


*Alex goes on to prod CSM with a large stick*


"Poke, poke, poke, he can get right nasty if riled up, just you see!"


*Alex jumps back at the last moment, and the stick is shot to pieces by a nearby bodyguard*


"Crikey! That was a close one! I'm shaking like a leaf!"


*Manic grin as he capers off towards the Hoover building*


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