Crossed Lines



Pairing: Pairs? Bah. Sk/K/D

Rating: PG (Hey, even more squicky mental images)

Summary: Secrets are revealed through communication mishaps.

Series: Third in the Telephone Series

Disclaimer: Don't own them. Pity really, I'm sure they give Grade A snuggle.


The bald head shone in the harsh light of the street light as he reached a hand out to the fallen man.

"Come with me if you want to live."

The dark haired cop blinked green eyes at the man he had thought destroyed before tentatively reaching up. He was pulled roughly to his feet by the other with seemingly little effort. The larger man, terse as always merely barked at him, the German accent strong.

"We don't have much time. The other will soon find us and kill us."


JD blinked as he came out of his typing daze and glanced at the toolbar. ICQ was merrily blinking at him, announcing a new message from "Basil". Flipping from his word processor, he brought up the message.

<Basil> The game's afoot, Dr Dawson :)

JD grinned and quickly threw a message back.

<Dief> Heh, busy over there?

<Basil> The trace is taking far too much time. I need to track down these bastards, but I have to slog through at least twenty different servers before I can find any useful information.

<Basil> Maybe I should outsource this job to the Gunmen... Just a message to say I might not be home for dinner, this job is not going quickly.

JD snorted. Alex tended to underemphasize problems. When he'd accidentally flooded the kitchen, he described it as 'A bit wet'. Walter had soundly cursed out the architect of the house who was stupid enough to build inward swinging doors in the kitchen, allowing the water to build up to nearly knee high, and jam the doors shut. It was wet enough for a suet of walruses to have had a rave party by the time they managed to break the doors down and release the water level.

<Dief> Okay, we'll keep a plate warm.

<Basil> *hug*

JD flipped back to his word processor.

The only warning the two had, was a flicker in the corner of their eyes. John threw himself into Jack, his heavier body slamming all the air out of his lungs as they both fell to the side, as a bullet slammed into the wall where Jack's head had been. Rolling to his feet, he pulled the still gasping Jack towards the exit, his eyes flickering all over the parking lot as his unease grew.

"We must leave now!"

He pulled the slighter man along, almost dragging him at times, before stuffing them both into a closet and motioning for silence.

"We mustn't make a noise." He cautioned.


Surprised out of his focus again, JD picked up the phone.


"Hey, lover." Walter's warm tones rolled out through the earpiece like warm melted caramel.

"Walt! Was just thinking about you." John grinned at himself. Yes. Solid, rock hard body of steel....

Walter's voice dropped an octave, "Hope they were good thoughts."

"Oh yes, you with Alex, and him all hot and sweaty in a tight Toronto PD uniform..." John could almost hear the images percolating through Walter's mind through the phone.

"And where are you in these thoughts?"

Laughing quietly to himself, John responded "Oh, really, really close behind, almost on your tail. Catching up fast."

"Just where I always like you to be." Walter's wicked grin could be heard over the phone line. It was soon followed by a long sigh as he continued. "I just had to ring and hear your voice; it's been a shitty day. Kersh has just ordered a complete overhaul of procedures in compliance with some obscure new law and guess who's wading through the paperwork to get it done?"

John looked mournfully out the door towards the general direction of the kitchen where mouth watering fragrances were wafting about the house. "Any idea when you'll be home?"

"Unfortunately won't be til late, I swear this used to be easier in the old days, now it's more like red duct tape, holding everything together. Sorry to miss the meal, but-"

"I'll leave a plate out for you." JD soothed, "Alex is pretty much in the same boat in regards to timing, and the food'll keep." Well, the roast wouldn't be hot, but that was alright, it would be just as good cold. The soufflé would be a definite non event, however, but he couldn't blame that on the others, although the timing was inconvenient. The night was looking to be an almost complete bust.

He listened to Walter's plight, allowing him to vent, making sympathetic noises at the right points, as the AD griped about certain forms and irresponsible agents who, with the new changes, would have expense reports that were twice as hard to explain.


<Basil> Heya, I need a file on our computer sent over here. Can you send the document marked Terma_49384.doc?

<Dief> Sure, Walt's on the line, he's going to miss dinner also, Kersh has him in his slimy grasp.

<Basil> Well, at least he's using lube. You know how Walt complains when he chafes. >:)

JD choked.

Walter instantly stopped rambling.

"John? Everything alright?"

JD stopped coughing in laughter long enough to answer in the affirmative.

"Sorry, just Alex giving me some horrible mental images..."

Walter's roar of laughter down the line washed over JD, as he explained his reactions.

"Tell that Rat that I'm not going to lube him next time!"

"Ow, Walt", JD winced.

"Heh, He won't need it where he's going. I'll just blow his socks off. I'm not that much of a hardass."

"Nah, you only play one on TV."


<Basil> Wow.

<Basil> *is speechless*

JD blinked. That response was a complete non sequitur, he hadn't even been in conversation with Alex in the last few minutes.

<Basil> I mean... Wow.

<Dief> What? What?!!

<Basil> *fans himself* Phew! *Rowr*

<Basil> I never knew you saw things like that, JD...

<Dief> What are you on about?

<Basil> I mean, me, a cop? I can get behind you and Walt being hunky robots of steel, since you both are already so buff, but, me? A cop? :)

JD swore.

He scrambled with the mouse to flip windows to the documents folder and realised what he had done.

"Oh shit. The wrong file."

"What's up John? You sound upset." Walter's concerned voice echoed in his ear as JD realised he'd said the last thing out loud.

"Uh. Um. Oh. Nothing's wrong! Nothing at all!"

As JD mentally back peddled trying to gain equilibrium after the gaffe, he heard a muffled 'Uh-oh' filtered through the phone's speaker, and felt his stomach hit rock bottom. He knew what had happened. He just knew it. He braced himself for the response.

Silence echoed eerily down the line, interspersed with faint mouse clicks.

<Basil> *Evil Grin* Somehow this work doesn't seem all that important after all...

[Basil has gone offline: "Ahm on mah way, to my JD and happiness today... Uh-huh, Uh-huh, Uh-huh, Uh-huh.."]

JD felt the blood rush to his face. He'd hoped never to have this facet exposed.

When Walter finally spoke, he was breathing just a bit faster, and his voice was just that much gruffer.

"JD, Don't. Move. From. That. Chair."

He heard Walter making excuses through his intercom to Kersh before speaking again.

"I think I -will- be home for dinner after all."

JD hung up the phone and sat back. The night wasn't a bust after all. Dinner would be served, hilarity and hijinks would occur. Maybe he could also get some good reference material tonight for his fics...


A/N: Hey. I seem to recall a "meta fanfic" challenge where one character gets caught writing fanfic. Hah. Meta-meta fanfic. Self referential fanfic, eat yer heart out =)

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