The Suck


Fandom: X-Files
Pairing: Sk/K

The smell of freshly roasted coffee filled the air and Alex closed his eyes, breathing in appreciatively. The meal had been fantastic, and he was comfortably full as he slouched on the sofa. He looked up, smiling, as Walter walked out of the kitchen, two mugs of steaming coffee generously doctored with a shot of Baileys, in one hand, and a packet of biscuits in the other. Rescuing one mug he shifted to one side, giving Walter barely enough room to fit between him and the armrest, a space which his lover took without hesitation, leaning into his body.

Walter placed the packet of biscuits on the coffee table and waited for Alex to notice them. Snuggling closer, Alex focussed on them.

"Tim Tams, Walt? What're they?"

"An Australian biscuit I've been recommended by a friend. She swears by it as being the best in the world."


Interest peaked, Alex reached for the cold packet, obviously recently fetched from the refrigerator and tore it open. Retrieving a chilled biscuit he chomped on the end. The cold chocolate quickly warmed in his mouth, collapsing into a flood of chocolate that filled his mouth. Eyes lighting up, he stuffed the rest of the half eaten biscuit into his mouth, happily running his tongue through the melting mix.

Grinning at his partner's obvious appreciation of the snack, Walter retrieved another two biscuits from the packet, handing one to the man sitting next to him, still in the throes of chocolate adoration. Alex grinned, licking his lips and brought the next biscuit to his mouth, stopping only at Walter's suddenly cleared throat.

Walter smiled smugly, held his Tim Tam between his thumb and first finger, and waited til Alex did the same.

Delicately biting off one corner, he stopped and smiled expectantly at his lover.

Quickly catching on, Alex nibbled lightly at one corner of the chocolate. Walter followed up with a nip on the opposite corner of his biscuit, a task Alex happily fulfilled.

Dipping his head briefly, Walter dropped one bitten off end of the Tim Tam into his coffee wrapping his lips around the other and sucking strongly. The coffee travelled through the biscuit rapidly and Walter quickly stuffed the disintegrating biscuit into his mouth without making too much of a mess. He closed his eyes in bliss but didn't move his jaw an inch. Opening his eyes again, he gazed and the shocked and admiring face of his lover as he comprehended the upcoming task.

Alex quickly dipped the end of his chocolate into the hot coffee, sucking rapidly at the other end. The hot coffee travelled through the biscuit, melting it as it went along and the burst of chocolate and alcohol laced coffee in his mouth almost distracted him from the main event. He could literally feel the biscuit's cold chocolate exterior collapsing under his fingers as it was undermined by the hot beverage, and he hurriedly placed the mug down, using both hands to stuff the half hot and melting, half cold and crunchy chocolate shell into his mouth.

Coffee, chocolate and liquor burst across his tastebuds, heated caffeine and cold sugar battling for control. Eyes half lidded, yet unseeing, Alex almost went into a trance state trying to sort the tastes. So preoccupied, he didn't see Walter closing in.

Alex's eyes flicked wide open in shock as Walter pressed his lips to his chocolate smeared ones, before awareness resurfaced and he realised what was happening. Eyes sparkling mischievously, Alex mentally debated momentarily on which treasure to enjoy, the mouthful of divine chocolate currently residing on his tongue, or the mouth that was currently attached to his lips.

He compromised, as he realised that Walter had not swallowed his biscuit, by enjoying the mouthful of the divine chocolate currently residing on the tongue of the mouth attached to his, happily throwing himself into the kiss.

The rich tastes of melted chocolate, coffee, Baileys and Walter mingled and Alex gave up trying to separate them, simply enjoying the combination as long as their breath held up.

When they finally parted, panting heavily, they had cleaned all traces of chocolate from the other's mouth, faces reddened and grinning insanely at the other. Alex leaned forward and with a quick cat lap, licked a smear of chocolate off Walter's upper lip.

"Wow." He said, slightly out of breath, "Remind me to write a thank you note to your friend…"

Walter grinned and then looked significantly back down onto the coffee table.

Alex followed his gaze and beamed happily at the rest of the packet of Tim Tams, waiting to be consumed…

Note: The above tactic is also known as the "Tim Tam Slam", but I first learned it as the "Tim Tam Suck", which I think is much more descriptive.

Tim Tams are a chocolate-covered religion.

Each Tim Tam is two and a half inches long, and consists of two thick chocolate biscuits (cookies, if you insist) separated by a layer of chocolate cream, and the whole thing is covered in chocolate. You can probably guess what the central ideology of a Tim Tam is.

Tim Tams come in six flavours: Original, Dark Chocolate, Double Coat (twice the chocolate coating), Chewy Caramel, White Chocolate and Mocha Coffee.

Regular packs contain 11 Tim Tams, which is frankly ridiculous. The more generous and kind-hearted among us might be willing to share a packet of Tim Tams with someone, but no one can be expected to give away the eleventh Tim Tam. I suggest buying two packets, or opting for a Family Pack (which contains 22).

As well as the regular packets of two-and-a-half inch Tim Tams, most supermarkets sell Original 5 Inch Tim Tam Bars (and who said five inches was below average?) and boxes of individually- wrapped White Tim Tams.

Tim Tams are made by Arnotts, an Australian confectionary company which has provided very essential products to Australia and New Zealand since 1865. Unfortunately, Arnotts is no longer Australian owned, but still produces these wonderful products.

Fact for the day: Australians consume 300 million Tim Tams every year.

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